Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Family Communication

When I was writting up this blog post last night, I couldn't help but think that its going to get nothing but negativity. You know those butterflies you get when you get REALLY nervous? Yeah, I have those right at the moment. I'm not going to name names, because not only does everyone involved know at least a few of the things that I've said, but the purpose of this email is to hit a larger topic. All that I ask is if for some reason you do take offense of what I'll be saying, please feel free to yell at me if you want, but reread what I'm trying to say. I just think that some of these things that everyone is having problems with is just absolutely silly. And I hope that everyone can get past these problems and come closer together. I can't fix these problems. I know that, its just too much for one man to fix. I just hope that effort can be made on both sides to get some amount of understanding. Well, I'm going to shut up now, and I'm going to email my sister who I haven't talked to in years and ask her how's shes been and for a little bit of forgiveness (seeing I haven't been there for her). Read the rest if you want to know what I was thinking last night. (I got the strength I asked for)


Yesterday(Monday)... was stressful. I kind of got myself into the middle of an unspoken problem in my family. On one side, supposedly due to old family photos not being looked for, communication broke down from there (which I think isn't really the truth, it might be a factor, but there were probably other factors), and on the other side, because of that lack of communication, they want nothing to do with the other because the lack of ... ... concern maybe? No, that's not right, I don't know what they are looking for really. Maybe what they are looking for is just the communication in general, which is understandable. I mean, communication IS (and always will be) a two way street.

Obviously, one side of the family doesn't know what the heck the other side is doing, and vice versa, and that saddens me. I remember back when we had a family gathering next to the lake, fishing, swimming, rowing a boat, just all around good times. Sure there might have been problems, but I felt like a BIG family at that time. I think if I remember correctly, all the guys at one point were watching Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan on the TV. (If I remember correctly, Dad hated that movie, not sure why...)

I mean, who cares if you didn't get a thank you note for a baby gift, who cares about photos, who cares about not getting a SINGLE phone call from someone when they are in town. Maybe they were getting a divorce at the time, maybe someone was dealing with cancer, maybe someone had a death in the family, or maybe when all said and done, they were so busy that it slipped the mind. Everyone has reasons, obviously some better than others, but THAT doesn't matter. What matters is FAMILY!

Now I know that I'm probably going to get some backlash from this, and well, I expect it. The truth hurts. Always does. Always will. Especially when nothing is said for such a LONG time. And well, I'm tired of it. Now, both sides of the family are probably going to take a look at this and be angry and/or confused. They may even ask me what I talking about for some of it. But you know what, ASK EACH OTHER!

I mean, I know that I haven't been the best son/nephew/cousin/brother, and I know that I could have communicated more. I could have sent out replies to those Christmas Email greetings that I've been getting from the one side. I could have stayed in better contact with ALL of my nieces and nephews. I could have been there whether mentally or physically with my brothers/sisters/uncles/aunts/cousins a little more. God knows that I love my immediate family to bits. Hell, I love my ENTIRE family (I guess even the black sheep, wherever they might be), and I don't want to lose anyone else. ESPECIALLY when its as STUPID as lack of communication.

Now, I know that we have our issues, we have our own problems, everyone does, but to say "I don't want anything to do with the other side of the family", I just can't do.
If I have to be, I'll be the bridge. I can already see that this post is going to bring some earthquakes. It normally does.

Now, I'm not expecting everyone to come running into each others arms, I'd be a fool if I thought so. But does it hurt to send out one email, make one phone call, HELL! Send a telegram! Whatever! Just something. Whether its a I'm sorry, or thank you, or a simple how have you been? As I see it, Family will be there for you, through thick and thin. No matter what you have done to piss people off, doesn't forgiveness stand for something?

I'm tired. This post was emotionally draining for me, and well, like I said, I'm probably going to get a backlash. It doesn't matter, as long as I can keep both sides. I'll be here for both sides, even if they don't want to be.

Dad, if you can here me, give me the strength to actually post this...


Aunt Pat said...

I am soooooo sorry I brought "it" up. It broke my heart to hear that that you felt you were being ignored that day. I should have never said anything to I have kept it to myself all these years. I love you and always will.

Anonymous said...

Jimmy just thinking of you and hoping today is a better day for you.

Cronus said...

But that's the problem aunt pat, people have kept things to themselves, and its been eating away at them. If we all talked with each other, every last one of us, then we wouldn't be where we are currently.

I'm thankful that you brought "it" up, because if "it" wasn't said, then the family would never see eye to eye again. I mean, I think that "it" is so silly to be ripping the family apart the way it seems to be. I hope that whatever past damage was done, can be fixed. It'll take time and effort, THAT's for sure! :-)